Kristen here….
Working with patients in a remote mountain village of Africa
brings with it some of the deepest heartaches I have ever known, but also some
of the most incredible triumphs. This past
week was a triumph.
Several weeks ago a young women presented to us for evaluation. She was pregnant, but her story wasn’t a
typical one. As we reviewed her history
it became clear that she had waded through a tragic past. This was her third pregnancy, but she had no
living children. Her first baby died
while she was in labor and her second one when she was 5 months pregnant.
Since the delivery of my own daughter many people have asked
me if experiencing pregnancy and delivery personally has changed anything in my
clinical practice. Honestly, not really, other than I have a better understanding of what the acute pain of searing loss
must feel like. The emotional connection
between mother and unborn child is real, and I cannot imagine the depths of
despair experienced in delivering a child that was once alive and well and
kicking inside you that now lays lifeless in your arms. Oh God, that you would spare us all from
that!
This young woman had hope in her eyes, despite so much pain, as
we discussed this pregnancy and how to proceed with delivery. Her baby was breech and she was almost
term. We elected to proceed with a
c-section.
The day for delivery came.
As she was being prepared in the OR for surgery I put on my favorite
playlist of music and set it on the shelf against the wall. We prayed together and the surgery
began. As I was going through the layers
down to the uterus I just kept thinking about all of the emotions that must be
running through her as she waited for her first ever live born child. The uterus was opened and I began pulling the
baby from his warm home as the timeless hymn of old, “Amazing Grace,” began to
play spontaneously in the background. I
couldn’t help but smile. How
fitting. God truly does have amazing
grace and there is no sweeter sound than the first cry of a newborn child. What a perfect reminder.
