We Might Be Crazy

The summer is in full swing and with that comes all of the many preparations it takes to move our lives overseas.  Starting out this journey we knew there would be challenges and obstacles to face, but neither of us understood the magnitude of what lay ahead. It has left us sometimes wondering if we might be crazy :-)

Getting rid of our things, selling our home, trying to secure insurance and consolidating our lives down to 7 suitcases is an exercise in simplicity and letting go of our stuff, but it is the saying goodbye to family and friends that threatens to rip our hearts out. As we travel around the country we savor the times we get to spend visiting and connecting with some very special people.  With this though, comes the inevitable goodbye and a heavy heart. Dan and I are so thankful that God has given us each other so that we don't go through this process alone.  It is indeed bittersweet. 

As we think through this whole process and take in the enormity of what we are really doing we have both realized that this probably is the worst career and financial decision we would be making at this time.  Yet, we are doing this to ourselves.  Why?

There is something within us, something deeply driving us and we just cannot shake the feeling that if we do not press on ahead that we would be making a terrible mistake.  We know it doesn't make sense.  We know that from a human perspective we are making absolutely all of the wrong decisions, but does that matter?  If we truly feel God pulling us towards this do we have a choice but to march on ahead despite the apparent insanity? Wouldn't it be better to be insane for the sake of Christ than to make perfect sense for the sake of ourselves?  That is where faith comes in I guess.  Faith that is crazy in this present time is the absolute opposite of chaos for eternity.  That is what makes this all worth it.  Following after the call that we believe God has placed on our lives for no other reason than knowing He is God and therefore, how can we refuse?

Neither of us have ever taken a step of faith quite this big and are struggling through it just as anyone else would.  We need prayer to get us through.  Please don't think of us as big faith giants.  We are not.  Over and over again we are reminded of just how little our faith is and just how much we depend on the prayers of others to carry us forward. Every piece of furniture we sell or article of clothing we give away hurts just a little bit.  However, could we live with ourselves if we decided to not do what we felt God was asking of us on account of our stuff?  That our sofa, car or even our home were more important than Him. THAT is crazy and yet at times it almost feels more comfortable to think the opposite. 

The other day we looked at each other and realized that we are newly married, unemployed and soon to be homeless.  Underachievers?  Maybe.  It certainly feels like that on many fronts, but if this is truly the journey that God desires for us then we would want it no other way. That doesn't mean, however, that there aren't many days where we sit there asking ourselves - are we crazy?